Star Wars in 99 Seconds


    47,520 seconds to 99.

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    0:00 Episode I. Main Titles
    0:22 Episode II. Across the Stars
    0:33 Episode III. Battle of the Heroes
    0:46 Episode IV. Cantina Band
    1:01 Episode V. Imperial March
    1:20 Episode VI. Binary Sunset


    Long, long time ago, long time ago in a galaxy
    Far in a galaxy, far far away

    Episode I: The Phantom Menace
    There once was a boy slave destined to save space
    He wins a big pod race and hits on a queen
    Padme’s a cougar
    Qui gets killed by Darth Maul who is then chopped in half
    Obi Wan must train the one from Tatooine

    Episode II: Attack of the Clones
    It’s the clone age, sand people rampage
    Mommy got flayed, strayed
    Ani’s bae is Padme

    Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
    [Anakin vs. Obi Wan and Yoda versus Sidius and Grievous versus Obi Wan, you’re breaking my heart]
    Anakin you are breaking my heart
    Order is made, Jedi are slain
    Kill all the baby tiny younglings
    Sid takes the throne, Long live the clones
    Burn Ani, turn him to a robo

    Episode IV: A New Hope
    Leia hides plans, Vader chokes a man
    Alderaan’s gone and Han shoots first
    You’re my only hopie Obi Wan
    Look, a small moon
    That’s a space ship
    Worshipfullness, walking carpet
    This princess better pay out
    Use the force, Luke
    Close your eyes and shoot

    Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
    Lando betrays Han and friends in the sky
    Skywalker flies, do or don’t, there’s no try
    Try the dark side
    No! No, no! No!
    Luke, I’m your daddykins
    Your mom was kissing Anakin
    Han’s frozen
    I love you
    I know

    Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
    It’s father, son and daughter
    A dynasty united at last
    The galaxy is free from evil
    Thanks to the goodness in Darth from the past


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